God Knew Best

Posted by beckyspillowshop on June 27, 2009 at 9:18 PM

      I am not sure what to say .  I had declared this was going to be a better year, but it got worse than I could ever imagine.    In my last blog, I was praising God, because Charles was still alive after the accident, but I guess God had other plans.    On June 16, 2009 , Charles went to be with the Lord  while in The University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore.  He had had emergency surgery on his colon a few hours earlier & had come through the surgery OK.  After they brought him back to recovery, he went into cardiac arrest, & the doctors tried to recussitate  him for an hour, but were unable to do so.


It was truly a miracle that he even survived the accident at all , because according to the state trooper, Charles told him that the 2nd & 3rd tires rolled   over him.   Charles said that 2 men stopped to help and they stayed until the  paramedics got there.     But,  the paramedics said there was no one there when they arrived.  These 2 men that Charles could see & the paramedics could not see were evidently "angels"  helping him.  This gave Charles 13 more days on this earth & more time for us to spend together.   I remember very vividly that day at lunch,  praying for guardian angels to protect Charles & keep him safe while out on the road that day in his truck.  ( God answered my prayer, but not exactly the way I wanted Him to.) 


    Charles was in severe pain, probably more than you or I could ever imagine.  His pelvis was so  badly crushed, and I am not sure he would have ever fully recovered.  They could not give him enough pain medication to make it go away, just enough to ease it some.  It was hard seeing him suffer so, & I don't think he  could have  endured  all  the suffering he would have to go through to recover.   I guess God knew that & decided to relieve him .  I know that  Charles is no longer suffering  because he's in heaven where there is no sickness or pain.  Sometimes we don't understand why God, why would you allow this to happen to Charles?  We probably will never understand, but God knew & he had his reasons.  Charles loved the Lord , & it was evident to those whom Charles knew.   I pray that will leave a lasting impression on them and maybe help someone to come to know the Lord through the  life of  Charles.       


 The day before he died he had been in a wheel chair for the first time . That night I took him  a Get Well balloon, & a little Leap frog that had " Little Leaps' on the tag.  I told him now he would be taken "little leaps" from his bed to his wheel chair.  I think it just made his day because I saw a big grin on his face .  Now Charles is  taking "big leaps" of joy  with Jesus up in heaven. 


  I got used to him being gone a lot, but  when he was out on the road driving a truck,  he would always come back home.    This time he's not coming back home, but  I know that  he is in his eternal   home with Jesus.  There is a big hole in my heart &  I miss him terribly.   There will never be another Charles! He was one of a kind, funny, loving, devoted  husband,  and even  silly at times, but he kept me laughing & made life interesting.    I miss his silly jokes & comments, and his phone calls during the evenings while he was working &   even his chocolate  fingerprints on the refrigerator door ,and  his diesel smelling clothes.   I miss hearing him come in at 3:00 am,  from driving his truck . I would  always wake up & talk to him - 25 minutes later, we finally would decide we better get some sleep.  I have a lot of good memories of Charles in my heart, and for that I am very thankful. 


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Reply anonymous
3:42 PM on July 5, 2009 
Becky, what a beautiful tribute to a man who loved you as much as you loved him. It was always evident by the way he looked at you how much he enjoyed being your husband. While I know we don't the "why" of all of this I praise the Lord with you that Charles is pain free with Jesus. Please know that I am here for you anytime you need a friend and love you very much!
Reply Naomi
4:31 PM on July 5, 2009 
Becky, I know hoe you feel since I lost my Jim to cancer 18 yrs aa
ago.He only lived 5 1/2 months after his diagnosis. Our childre
en and I have some beautiful memories and I can relate to you
because Jim was a long distance truck driver and the children
spent many days and nights without him. I still wake at night
and feel he is still here. Thern reality sets in and I realize it was
only a dream. He lived his life as God allowed and really was
a tremendous witness that many Drivers remember him and
none of can believe it has been 20 years. Blessing to you
Becky and I'll continue to prayer for you for comfort & peace.
Reply Donna Oliver
5:41 PM on July 5, 2009 
Becky, What a beautiful tribute to Charles. I have had you in my thoughts and prayers every day. It is so hard to lose someone we love so much and whom we miss so much. How blessed we are to know that we will see Charles again and that he is painfree in a joyous place with our Lord.
Charles showed God's love to all that met him. He lived for the Lord and God blessed him with you and your loving family and many loving friends.
We will never understand why this happened. We just have to have comfort knowing that God knew what was best.
Love you, Becky. I hope to see you soon.
6:50 PM on July 5, 2009 
Dear Becky, Oh what a beautiful tribute to Charles. I have been thinking of you and have kept you in my daily prayers. Isn't it wonderful we will be with our loved ones one day.! I thank God for sending His son. Many many blessings to you.
With love, Ellen
Reply Pam Lehr
2:19 AM on July 6, 2009 
Becky, t hank you for sharing your blog with and Charles had such a wonderful connection. I remember him and his sense of humor with fondness. And I am praying for you to know and increasing measure of comfort. Thank you for sharing with us.
Reply Chanin
9:44 AM on July 6, 2009 
Becky, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Know our prayers our with you! Chanin
Reply Michele
11:50 AM on July 6, 2009 
I am so relieved to hear of a wonderful testimony of a loving marriage that was Godly and obviously that the Lord blessed you with a friend for a husband. I am so encouraged that you know that the Lord is with you and that you have the comfort of knowing that Charles is with the Lord. You are a witness to many.
Reply anonymous
6:46 PM on July 11, 2009 
What courage and faith god has given you and Charles.I know you loved him and he you.I do believe
angels were with him as Jesus is always with us each day also.May you have peace soon from all your pain.
Take care and know I pray and think often of you and I draw strength from your faith!!! You are a true blessing
and a witness to Jesus each day.
Reply Shirley
8:18 PM on August 15, 2009 
I hadn"t seen this blog until today and I'm sitting here crying. Charles was so special and obviously sent to you by God, just not as long as we all would have wished. I loved Charles and he asked if I would be his Mom. Remember?It would have been an honor to have been his real mom but we still called each other Mom an Son. When staying with you when you were sick, I got to see how wonderfully he treated you and how he loved the Lord. Now that some time has passed, I wonder if it is God"s purpose to use his witness and servant's heart to reach more in death than he could have in life. We do know it was all in His hands and it was His plan from the beginning. As painful as the loss is, it was worth the treasure of having Charles in all our lives. I love You
Reply raj
7:18 AM on December 21, 2010 
chk this it may be helpful